How do Hudson Valley organizations resolve missed deadlines, unkept commitments, unmet expectations, and rude or disrespectful behavior? Whether dealing internally or with outside vendors, most don”™t confront these and other important “accountability” issues.
According to the authors of “Crucial Confrontations,” a national poll of U.S. workers found that in one high-tech firm, the top code writers outperformed the bottom by a factor of 10 to 1. They went on to say that leaders in more than a dozen industries estimated the typical difference is 8 to 1.
Although this is common, lower performers often make about the same amount of money. What does this single issues cost in morale and lost productivity? Shouldn”™t laggards be confronted?
What do you do when someone disappoints you? Some people respond in anger and they cut people off, overstate arguments and attack ideas. Other people react with stone-cold silence. Still others drop hints, change the subject, or say nothing rather than speak directly about the problem.
What sets the best leaders in the workplace apart from other people? They wield influence because they are the best at stepping up to colleagues, co-workers, or even their bosses, and holding them accountable.
What does the term confrontation mean? To confront means to hold someone accountable for disappointing you, face-to-face. It doesn’t have to be abrasive. When handled correctly, both parties are candid and respectful and talk openly and honestly. As a result, problems are resolved and relationships benefit.
Confrontations succeed or fail because of”¦
The words chosen.
The way they are delivered.
Before confronting someone, make sure that you are confronting the right problem. The question of what you should discuss is the most important issue in a confrontation.
People are often in too much of a hurry to do this. Their emotions propel them to move quickly, and speed rarely leads to careful thought. While sorting through the issues, decide what”™s bothering you the most.
Remember, the only person you can really change is yourself.
Before you approach a confrontation, realize the only one you control is yourself.
You can’t expect to “change everyone else” or expect perfect results.
In “Crucial Confrontations,” authors Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler concluded that the ability to hold others accountable lies at the very center of a person’s ability to exert influence. Is it worth it? The authors said: “When an IT group improved confrontation skills by 22 percent, the group’s quality improved 30 percent, productivity climbed almost 40 percent and costs plummeted 50 percent.”
The first time a problem occurs, talk about the content, or what just happened.
The next time the problem occurs, talk about the pattern, what has been happening over time.
If the problem continues, talk about the relationship.
At stage three, the critical issue is that the string of disappointments has caused you to lose trust in them. Human resources professionals would recommend that you carefully document each conversation, have the employee acknowledge it in writing, and keep that record in their files.
Remember to be concise and distill the issue to a single sentence. If you can control yourself, distill the problem to a simple statement and confront politely, studies show that cost savings of up to 50 percent and 40 percent productivity improvements will be yours to enjoy.
Questions for discussion:
What is the lack of properly confronting our employees, outside venders and strategic partners costing our organization?
Who do I need to respectfully and unemotionally confront right now and what single sentence will I prepare in order to successfully do so?
Joe Murtagh is The DreamSpeaker, an international keynote speaker, meeting facilitator and business trainer. For questions or comments, Joe@TheDreamSpeaker.com, www.TheDreamSpeaker.com or call 800-239-0058.
