Communicating with children is even harder today than it was 10 years ago, now that texting, instant messenger and a laptop full of social networking sites are available for kids as young as kindergarten.
That wasn”™t Taryn Grimes-Herbert”™s experience growing up. ”˜We read, we played games, we kept diaries,” said the owner of UnXpected Developments, her home-based production company. “One of the things most precious to me was my grammar school autograph book, the kind you don”™t see anymore.”
Grimes-Herbert”™s radar really tuned in to the need for children to express their feelings when her then 4-year-old daughter came home crying because she felt she had lost her best friend.
“I tried to explain to her that it”™s possible to have more than one friend,” said Grimes-Herbert. “I began to try to talk to her about this by writing a poem for her: ”˜The most important part of having friends at all / Is being there for one another in case you take a fall.” (The lines transcend age, as good poetry will do. After all, who doesn”™t need a good friend at a time of need?)
What really did the trick in communicating the idea to her daughter that friends can be shared and not coveted was creating a little autograph book for her to have her friends sign, similar to the one Herbert had herself as a child.
“Some of the kids put their handprints in,” said Herbert. “But it accomplished what I wanted it to do for my daughter: helped her realize you can have many friends and be able to share them without worrying.”
That gave Herbert an idea. If her child was having trouble dealing with her feelings, how were her daughter and older son, as well as other children, handling issues such as having to move ”“ “Something I experienced as a child” ”“ or being bullied? Children have a lot of issues they have difficulty articulating.” She designed a way to “draw” kids out ”¦ literally.
Getting together with two other mothers ”“ Lenee Gordon, a speech pathologist and photographer, and Molly Pike Riccardi, a graphics artist ”“ the trio put together a scrapbook for their children to draw in, creating pictures of what they wanted to be when they grew up, what their favorite activity was, what scared them, what fascinated them and asking them to draw a picture of what they thought they”™d look like when they grew up.
“At first, it was strictly for our family and friends, but we realized that so many of parents work full-time and are running to take children to activities that we aren”™t making enough time to find out where our children are headed emotionally. Every parent knows it”™s tough to get a child to sit down and talk to you.”
This was a way Grimes-Herbert, Gordon and Pickard could find out how their children were feeling in a way that didn”™t put pressure on them to talk it out. And it worked.
From the small autograph book Herbert put together for her daughter, the trio started working on other ways to reach out to their children: “”˜I”™ve Got Plans”™ focuses on what kids want to be when they get older, what they”™d like to do in school and what kind of job they”™d like to have,” she said of one creation. “”˜I”™ve Got A Choice”™ deals with what they are going to do with their lives, whether it is making food choices or choosing to refuse something they know could be troublesome, what they”™d like to be when they grow up, what kind of friends they”™d like to have, and what kind of friend they would like to be.”
Grimes-Herbert is now working on a fourth activity booklet, “We Have a New Home.” She said it would be a challenge to find a child who could not relate to moving from one home to another, especially in today”™s economy.
“It really helps kids sort out their feelings; they draw a picture of their face when they found out they were moving, what they thought the new house would look like, what the new house actually looks like, and other feelings they can either draw or write about, depending on their ages.” The activity books are geared toward the 5-12 age group.
Grimes-Herbert”™s husband convinced the women to self-publish their activity books, which are available on Amazon and a few local stores in her area.
“The books are meant to empower kids to think positively in a positive atmosphere,” she said. “That”™s what we hope we”™ll accomplish. Our children are our most important asset. It”™s good to know how they”™re feeling; if they don”™t like to talk, you can take a look at their activity book and get a handle on what they”™re feeling. It”™s been a great help to me and to my children, and I”™d like to see it help other parents who do as much running as I do. That”™s the goal.”
