November is National Caregivers Month, but caregivers with aging parents or a disabled adult child may not have time to notice.
Diapering and bathing and cleaning soiled sheets and clothes become part of the daily routine, as do tracking doses of medication, and trips to physical therapy and doctors. Homework and running to a parent-teacher meeting are on the list for caregiving seniors raising small children. Getting out for an evening is a luxury many caregivers can”™t afford ”“ either no one is willing or able to step in and take over for a few hours and the cost for outside services may be too prohibitive for caregivers to consider.
For Marine Sgt. Eddie Ryan, an Iraqi combat vet wounded by friendly fire during a mission in Iraq in 2005, his parents stepped into the caregiving role. Doctors had given Ryan, hit by two bullets to the brain, little chance of any meaningful recovery. His parents didn”™t buy the diagnosis.
The Ryans managed to get an extension built on their Ellenville house specially equipped for their disabled son. There, they have cared for him 24/7 ”“ and they take on the Dept. of Veterans”™ Affairs for any kind home care therapy they can get.
It”™s no easy task, admitted Ryan”™s mother, Theresa. After giving testimony two years ago at a Congressional hearing in New Windsor, all his parents wanted was to provide as normal a life for their son as possible ”“ in his own home.
What did Ryan ”“ with his mother by his side — tell congressmen he wanted? “More services.” This from a guy doctors predicted would never be able to put two words together or understand a conversation. Caregiver support groups attribute his progress directly to the care he and others like him are receiving in their own home as key to their physical and emotional progress. It”™s the toll it takes on caregivers that often goes unnoticed.
“For the most part, people receiving care at home from a loved one will respond better and have a better quality of life,” said Ann Coon of the Orange County Office for the Aging. “It”™s not only more cost effective, but better for the patient. For the caregiver, however, it can be a challenge. Often, they don”™t have the support they need. It can be very isolating. They worry about their own health and often don”™t have a support system for themselves.”
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Retired seniors ready to enjoy their golden years may find themselves caring for their own grandchildren instead of being on the golf course. “At the age of 65 or 70, women suddenly become ”˜soccer moms”™ and start going to PTA meetings and pediatrician visits,” said Coon. To add to the pressure, many of these children have special needs if the biological parent abused drugs or alcohol during the pregnancy.
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Mary Jo DeForest, executive director of Ulster County Office for the Aging (OFA), says her agency is working collaboratively with Jewish Family Services to help caregivers receive better outside services. DeForest says Ulster is the only OFA with licensed social workers working with its clients. “Because of our collaboration with JFS, we are better able can assess a family”™s situation,” she said. “We have caregiver support groups for grandparents raising grandchildren and children caring for both their aging parents and their own children. We help caregivers who aren”™t sure if they qualify for financial aid and feel overwhelmed trying to deal with the system. We encourage caregivers to call their local Office for the Aging; we can point them in the right direction.”
NY CONNECTS is available in every Office of the Aging in the state. “It was an initiative started by Gov. George Pataki,” said Sharon Murray Cohen, part-time executive director for Jewish Family Services in Kingston. “The funding comes to the state from the federal government. The goal is to keep people in the community: caregiving by family members is much more cost effective, and the family member usually gets much better care. NY CONNECTS is a great referral service that leads people in the right direction for the help they need for their particular situation, and every one is different.”
NY CONNECTS coordinates and guides caregivers to assistance through an array of community based services. Through its distinctive role of committed advocate and community partner, the agency strives to ensure clients”™ needs will continue to be met””budget woes notwithstanding. To contact NY CONNECTS in: Orange: 615-3710; Putnam: 225-1034; Rockland: 364-2020; Ulster: 334-5307; Sullivan: 807-0257 and Westchester: 914-813-6300
“The Cornell Cooperative Extension in Middletown offers RAPP — Relatives as Parents Program,” said Coon. “There can be some confounding issues for grandparents ”“ legal issues, custody battles, visitation demands ”“ and many of them are trying to make the best of the situation while living on fixed incomes,” Cohen says Cornell Cooperative Extension”™s RAPP program “is a great support system for seniors caring for children. There are a lot of support groups out there, but often it is only peer support. It”™s helpful to have others in the same situation to talk to, but a clinical piece is needed to guide people to appropriate services.”
Check with Cornell Cooperative Extension for localized RAPP availability details.
