The divorce minus the acrimony

In 2003, Vicki Volper of Westport was a commercial real estate attorney with more than 21 years experience. Today she is a prominent mediation and collaborative divorce attorney. She is also founder of the Divorce Mediation Team of Connecticut, which has helped many divorcing couples successfully resolve their conflicts ”” saving them time, money and stress.

The dramatic change in Volper”™s practice began 11 years ago when she received a flyer in the mail. It was from the Dispute Settlement Center (DSC), the Connecticut nonprofit that offers skilled conflict resolution services. “I found the mediation concept intriguing and decided to serve as a volunteer attorney with the DSC,” she said.

Soon after mediating some cases, she decided to become a family law attorney and completed 40 hours of required mediation training. As it turns out, that decision was fortuitous for Volper”™s new practice because mediation was a fairly new but expanding alternative for couples seeking divorce.

“Mediation divorce has grown exponentially since I entered the field a decade ago and it”™s the wave of the future,” Volper explained. “The trend to divorcing amicably through mediation has gained in popularity, especially in recent years during hard economic times. It has proven to be far less expensive for couples to resolve conflicts rather than going through the court system, which is often a lengthy and expensive process as well as one that prolongs and exacerbates psychological and emotional stress on couples and their families.”

Volper also said the art of mediation can make a big, positive difference in especially complex and difficult divorce scenarios. She cited a case of which she is proud that involved a couple who had been married for 20 years, had six children and were pillars in their church and community. The husband was a high-net-worth financial executive and the wife was a stay-at-home mom. “The family nearly imploded because the husband had an extramarital affair with another man. That raw emotional landscape, combined with the husband”™s complex financial derivatives-based compensation, posed a number of challenges for us,” Volper said.

Volper”™s prior experience as a tax attorney was pivotal in helping to understand the husband”™s knotty finances and in determining an equitable financial compensation for the wife. Equally important, family marriage and family therapist Paula Levy, who teams up with Volper on all mediation cases, played a psychologically supportive role to help the couple navigate emotionally charged issues, including the sharing of parenting responsibilities.

Levy, who is also a CPA, provided guidance to the wife about how to effectively manage the family”™s finances after the divorce took effect.

But, there was a bump in the road on the way to final resolution. “When we went to review counsel whereby the attorneys representing the husband and wife reviewed the plan to make sure their clients were making an intelligent decision, the wife”™s counsel created a great deal of doubt in her mind about the financing arrangement we had carefully crafted. Fortunately, the wife followed our advice to engage another review attorney who was more respectful of the process. I take a great deal of satisfaction in this case because in spite of several pitfalls, the couple finally agreed that the settlement was fair and equitable and was in the best interests of their family.”

Avoiding an ugly and expensive divorce is Volper”™s specialty by offering couples the opportunity to split using either mediation or collaborative divorce. Both processes are nonadversarial and provide couples with the opportunity to maintain their dignity, preserve their assets and protect their children through the divorce process.

In mediation, Volper acts as a neutral third party facilitating discussions between the two parties about each of the issues of their divorce, including division of assets, future parenting roles and child and spousal support. While she acts as a resource for the legal aspects of divorce, Volper does not provide legal representation to either party. Instead, she guides both through the legal process and helps each to make their own decisions based on the agreed-to goals and sense of fairness.

With collaborative divorce, Volper acts as an attorney for one spouse while the second is represented by another attorney. Unlike the traditional attorney representation in divorce, collaborative attorneys focus their efforts on settling all of the issues of the divorce instead of fighting. When appropriate, Volper also helps to select other collaborative team members such as coaches, a child specialist and a financial specialist to facilitate the process.

No fighting, no costly court intervention. That”™s the alternative of the new divorce landscape, one that gives Volper great satisfaction ”¦ case by case.

Winners Circle is a regular feature that takes a look at successful women in business and at top attorneys, men and women, in the region. To nominate someone, contact Bill Fallon at bfallon@westfairinc.com.