A rant about rage

AutoVantage last week came out with its latest national road rage survey, and quite frankly, we”™re outraged. Where the heck is Connecticut? The Norwalk-based auto club has for the second year in a row found Miami to be the top city in need of anger management for its drivers. It”™s easy to understand why Miami ”“ heck, why not name the entire state ”“ has angry people behind the wheel; a large population of senior citizens and a growing population of young people in tricked-out cars converging on the packed roads. New York City, Boston, Los Angeles and Washington, D.C., follow in descending order in the survey. C”™mon, New York shouldn”™t even be on the list; anger is a requisite of driving in the Big Apple. Bostonians aren”™t upset at drivers, they”™re upset with their baseball team. LA is safe as long as drunken socialites and movie stars stay off the road. The only drivers in D.C. are tourists; workers take the Metro. The number one most courteous city is Portland, Ore. One person”™s courteous is another person”™s sissy driver. The survey found that there are two major attributes in defining road rage behavior: ”¢ Angry or upset drivers, including out-of-control drivers and drivers who lose their temper. ”¢ Bad or aggressive driving, including cutting into lanes, cutting people off, tailgating, speeding and honking. Hey, hit the brakes, isn”™t this I-95 at most hours of the day? Those single-digit salutes from fellow drivers along the interstate don”™t mean you”™re number 1. Those truckers who think their trailers are always short enough to squeeze in front of you aren”™t near-sighted. Those blasts on the horn aren”™t meant to say hi to the boats in the Sound. Hey AutoVantage, how do you folks get to work ”“ helicopter? Boat? Borrow a sub from Groton? Not placing I-95”™s run through Fairfield County at the top of the anger heap is an oversight. Just thinking about I-95 makes us angry. Want anger? Drive behind a woman applying mascara. It makes you want to pull in front of her and slam on the brakes. Let”™s see how she explains those black skid marks running from her eyes into her hairline. What about the guy who checking his hair in the rear view mirror. It”™s still there, you narcissistic #*@! And what about people on cell phones who can”™t seem to handle talking and driving? Hey, AutoVantage, for your next survey call us. We”™ll still have anger to share.